*derides your truth-handling abilities*

Title: Five Times Stacy Wanted a Cigarette
Pairing: Stacy/Cuddy
Rating: teen
Notes: Set following the season two finale. 2400 words. My femslash09 fic, written for quasiradiant.

( The gum really wasn't working. )

This was written for Kutner Fest over at kutner_love. Which you should go see now. Big thank you to swatkat24 for the insta-beta. ♥


The Mysteries of a Rapidly Expanding Universe, House gen, Kutner + Rachel Cuddy
All ages, 250 words.

( Kutner has always thought that babies are kind of cool, actually. )

So remember those holiday gift ficlets I still have to write? This one's for queenzulu, who wanted House/Foreman, and silliness.

1019 words. Rated for teens.

( Okay, here's what really happens. )

*flees*

I am catching up on replies today. That is my goal. That, and maybe finishing that holiday exchange fic that was due yesterday, hi. But for now, here are two more of the giftfics.


Title: Not for the likes of you and me
Pairing: House/Thirteen
Notes: For obfuscate3, prompt 'because'.

( you're so tired )


Title: I'll be stepping on cracks and close my eyes
Pairing: Cuddy/PI Lucas
Notes: For caesir. A continuation of the lunch date scene in Adverse Reactions.

( Cuddy stirred her straw in her glass, her chin propped on her hand )

Two holiday gift-ficlets, for swatkat24 and hihoplastic. In my defense? YOU WERE THE ONES WHO ASKED FOR THIS.


Title: The Bottom of the Barrel
Fandom: House/How I Met Your Mother
Pairing: Cuddy/Barney
Notes: Hee. For swatkat24.

( real golf is a lot harder than Marshall's Wii makes it look )



Title: He Had It Coming
Fandom: House
Pairing: Cuddy/SWAT Guy
Notes: Um. Blame hihoplastic.

( there are witnesses )

Title: Close Your Eyes and Count to Ten
Pairing: House/Foreman/Thirteen
Rating: teen
Words: 12713 (lol)
Notes: This is a story about people being happy, and no one being dead or dying. AU, obviously, where random things are different just because I felt like it. Many thanks to queenzulu for the beta.
Summary: Uh, House, Foreman and Thirteen hang out and have sex? Only without the sex. (I didn't feel like writing porn.) The rest of the cast also feature, to varying degrees.

( it wasn't subtle )

Title: Close Your Eyes and Count to Ten
Pairing: House/Foreman/Thirteen
Rating: teen
Words: 12713

( part two )

Title: Take Two Martinis and Call Me in the Morning
Fandom: Scrubs/House
Pairing: Jordan/Cuddy
Rating: teen
Words: 2780
Notes: No spoilers. Not much in the way of plot or rationalisation, either.
Summary: At the closing farewell cocktail crap-fest, things were finally looking up.

( Jordan hated Bob Kelso. )

Woo! Done! *cough*

Title: When Everything Will Be Just Fine
Pairing: Cameron/Thirteen
Rating: R
Words: 6001
Notes: My quite late housefemslash fic, written for fourteencats. Set following the season four finale.
Summary: Cameron cares. Thirteen tries not to. Hijinks ensue.

( when her thoughts went in this direction, she just wound up remembering why she left )

Title: Sisters Three
Fandom: House/The Simpsons crossover
Pairing/Characters: gen, Cuddy, Patty, Selma, Wilson, and House
Rating: PG
Words: 1211
Notes: I don't even know. Sort of set during the season three Cuddy/Wilson not-dating thing. Thanks to roga for hand-holding.

( Patty and Selma are the kind of sisters that can make you glad you weren't born a triplet. )

Written, of course, for the most winningest ficlet battle ever.

Title: All the Way Home
Pairing: Amber/Thirteen
Rating: teen
Notes: Set after 'Games'. 700 words.

( Amber had no limes. )

Title: Bus Ride to Nowhere
Pairing: Amber/Not Amber
Rating: adult
Word count: 1597
Warning: Spoilers for House's Head/Wilson's Heart
Summary: Because the question is not 'why did Amber get on the bus'. It's where does she go from there?

( it's just that Amber isn't very zen )

Title: Sweet the Sting
Pairing: Cuddy/House
Notes: For sangria_lila. Adult, set pre-series, 1265 words.

( she's not worried - he doesn't remember )

Title: Top Dog
Pairing: Cuddy/Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Words: 418
Notes: Post-ep for 'Mirror, Mirror'.
Summary: We all know who's really on top.

Title: Hate (to the power of 13)
Pairing: Amber/Thirteen
Rating: R
Words: 2043
Notes: Set after 'Guardian Angels'.

Title: First Woman
Fandom: House/The West Wing
Pairing: Cuddy/CJ, with one vague reference to canon CJ/Danny
Rating: PG-13
Summary: You remember her mostly the way you first remember her at all.
Notes: For cuddy_fest . (Also, for hihoplastic . It's about time!) I'm not quite sure how well the timelines match up, but for my purposes the first season of West Wing coincides roughly with Cuddy being made Dean of Medicine. Also, some knowledge of how the final season of the West Wing turns out will help.

( You'll write her a letter. )

Title: In Which Everyone Wakes Up Gay Except Foreman: A story in five parts.
Fandom: House
Pairings: Foreman/Cuddy/Cameron, House/Wilson/Chase, Cuddy/Cameron, a few others implied
Rating: teen
Words: 3142
Notes: For foreman_fest. Pure crack. Pure, metarific crack. Bonus points for spotting the Star Wars reference. Set towards the end of the third season, before Foreman decides to resign.
Summary: Foreman is no one's token black guy. That doesn't mean he never feels left out.

( Part the First: In which bisexuals do not exist. )

Title: Desperate Times
Fandom: House
Pairing: Cuddy, Honey, and House, in various combinations
Rating: teen
Words: 1905
Notes: Commandeers events at the end of 'Resignation' (the one with Honey, the hot hippie nutritionist). Thanks to swatkat24 for the beta.
Summary: Anything House can do...

( he's switching it up lately, with the blondes )

Title: Not as I Do
Fandom: House
Pairing: Foreman/Cuddy
Rating: adult
Words: 1000
Notes: Occurs anytime, really, around or during the final three episodes. For the foreman_fest.
Summary: Foreman's leaving, Cuddy's not happy about that for a variety of reasons.

( I'm not fucking you in my office. )

Title: Circular Reasoning (The Third Law of Motion Remix)
Fandom: House
Pairing: Brenda/Cuddy
Rating: teen
Words: 1222
Notes: My remix_redux fic. Remix of Consequences, an awesome little drabble by karaokegal.

( but this is what she remembers )